Say it Strong Say it Loud!!!

I am still a Yankees fan and I am proud!!!! What a game last night. They have been no hit since 1958, and haven't been no hit at home since 1952. There had never been a no hitter with that many pitchers involved (a two pitcher combo was the most till last night). So yet again, The New York Yankees are a part of history. Mind you I could have done without this laurel, but that is how it goes from time to time.

Now onto the real problem with last night's game, and I am not talking about the Yankee pitching, or the Yankee defence, or even the Yankee’s ineptitude at the plate. No, what I am talking about is the broadcast team for ESPN2 last night. As I tuned into the game last night and two people appeared before me on the screen, I thought this might not be so bad. Gary Thorne is a great play-by-play guy for hockey and I have heard him on local broadcasts of Mets games, so I know that the call of the game will be good.

The other guy next to him, an attractive black man. I am comfortable is saying that, he is telegenic. He looks good on camera. Who was it? David Justice. A good player in his day. Has a nice spread (he was on MTV’s Cribs). He seems to be a real nice guy. But when he opens his mouth… two words come to mind. Here it is: “Ball Gag”. A deaf mute would have better chance of getting over with me as a color commentator. You know how John Madden (from MNF) is the king of obvious and dumb statements. He a frickin’ Rhode’s Scholar in comparison to Justice. To further expound on this point, here are people I would rather listen to doing commentary than Justice: Magic Johnson (even on his short lived TV show), Joe Morgan (and many of you know how much I despise listening to him), Joe Lieberman (he prolly doesn’t know squat about baseball, but he is tough on the ears), and the Nanny herself Fran Drescher (even the nasal thing would be tolerable).

I couldn’t believe the bones Thorne would throw him and he’d say something so incredibly obvious or stupid, you wanted one of those really long poles with the crook on the end to yank him out of the booth, or that clown dude from the Apollo theater that has the broom, or even better yet, the guy in the dominatrix outfit the blow the trumpet on Sabado Gigagante on Univivsion. I had a Brian (the dog from Family Guy) moment when I uttered the phrase: “Is there anything on this remote lower than mute???” At one point, he actually remarked that the result of the game would come down to pitching. Really??? To pitching??? Stunningly brilliant commentary!!!

Not that it really mattered to whose pitching he was referring to, but the next thing I expected him to say was: “That the team with the most runs at the end of the game would be the winner.” Or even better yet, “There is a fifty fifty chance that either of these teams will come away with the win.” Seriously, this guy sucks. Maybe not in new and mysterious ways, or like Monica and the cigar, or even in that Neil Diamond/Yanni/Michael Bolton kind of way. He just should never be allowed to open his mouth again on TV, unless of course, he hawking those new McGriddles commercials.

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I guess my only hope now is that the Yankees hold on to win this game today, because as I walk in the door from work and flip the game on, much to my chagrin, Mr. Justice (maybe it should be IN-Justice) is in the booth blathering on and on and on. Shoot me now….and I am waiting to hear stellar comment number one…where is the mute button… here it is top of 6th, bases jacked and a fly out to left to bring in the runner at third to tie it up at 3 all. Justice says, “Now it’s like playing in a zero zero ballgame.” I swear, dumber than a sack of hammers.

- posted by TundraBoy @ 12:07 PM